I was shy, quiet and lacked confidence.  

Some even said my lack of confidence had something to do with my name – Onitiju (which means a shy person). 

My mum told me this story of what I did when I was very young. I went to a neighbour’s house and they offered me food to eat. My response was classic.

Rubbing my eyes, I told the neighbour ‘my mum told me to never eat anything in your house’ 

LOL! 

That’s how I gave my mum away to answer tough questions from the neighbour. 

Things got slightly better in Secondary school in Nigeria. But then I was short, one of the youngest in boarding school, and despite joining a boy band, my confidence seemed to be tracking my height. It was small.

One day something changed… It was a huge turnaround. 

I was 17 when I arrived in London on a cold November evening. I didn’t speak English well (I thought I did, but most people couldn’t hear me when I spoke), and I didn’t hear them either.

‘Pardon, sorry, pardon, sorry’ became some of my most used words. 

Outwardly, I looked like the same short boy with no confidence, but I was new inside. I was at a bus stop waiting for a bus in the freezing cold. I couldn’t feel my forehead and ears because of the cold, but I could hear my thoughts. Looking around, for the first time I realized that I could start afresh. There was no baggage, no intimidating friends, no mistakes, no history. I can write a new story… the new story. 

So I made a decision that I’d do ‘my best’ to be ‘the best’ at whatever I do… Period! 

If you’re going to beat me, you’re going to have to ‘fight’ (not just work) for it. I decided that my competence will feed and help build my confidence. 

I worked on my competence, and I started seeing positive results in my confidence. 

Competence breeds confidence – Tai Lopez

This worked…. for a while! 

Unfortunately, competence was not enough as I would later realize to build confidence. It was short lived, I encountered another obstacle, a bigger and more ruthless one. 

This is something that makes competence useless and sucks confidence out of you. 

…………..(to be continued)

Welcome to the #ConfidenceSeries. In this 3 part series, I’m sharing the 3 tips that help me become more confident.

Tip 1 – Build your Competence. 

Let’s have a conversation. Today, do you feel confident and why? Share in the comments.